Slow fade (urban dictionary):
Function: verb
lacking in readiness, or willingness to accept a budding relationship therefore, institutes this passive aggressive method of disappearing from a relationship all together over an extended period of time
In simple terms, a slow fader is someone who doesn´t have the guts to tell the person he/she is dating “hey, honesty I´m not that into you” and take the low move of disappearing slowly but sure to thin air. the progress can be slow or drastic, he/she can start answering your text really late, never have time to meet up, too busy with everything and gradually loosing contact.. or he/she can just stop all forms of contact suddenly and become untraceable.
No matter what form it took, it left the dumpee anxious, wondering, agonizing about the situation.. some of them would question even blame themselves while others would start cursing the dumper on his/her cowardly act before they can finally grasp the real condition and let go..
I always thought that this kind of act would only happen in immature teenage relationship or at least when the people involved are in their early 20s. Not that I´m saying when you hit 30 you will automatically become super mature and wise, but at least you are not supposed to be in your self-absorbed and careless phase anymore.. or so I thought…
Apparently, many people still enjoy being a slow-fader.. because they managed to convince themselves that it is a nice thing to do.. save both of you a great deal of awkwardness of doing the “I´m not into you talk” and doesn´t have to feel guilty to see the sadness in your date´s face during the talk.. it is just a perfect move!
The slow-fader convinced that it is a common understanding that reduced (to none) contact means “I really don´t want you..get off my life, you biatch!” and surely every single person should understand that, don´t you?!
eerrr.. I say no!
I´ve seen a few of slow-fader´s “victims” around me and how they felt confused. yup, you are not sparing their feelings, slow-faders! instead you throw them into days of confusion, wondering what the heck is happening?! slow fading took time.. days, weeks even months.. and during those process the agony continues..
Maybe my mind is too simple, but why don´t you save those precious time.. instead of answering reluctantly to every messages, giving excuses to every plans and/or other delaying or slow-fading moves you make.. just say it out loud the moment you feel that you´re not into that person, “hey girl/boy, it´s been great but lets call the whole thing off cause I´m not that into you” as simple as that! Well, don´t say it literally like what I´ve written above, choose your words carefully, but the bottom line, say it, so they would understand your position.
Is it rude? too direct? or even hurtful? probably for some people.. but certainly it´s more fair, mature and respectful to do that. Sadness caused by broken heart would heal in a few days, while the agony of slow-fading can last longer, weeks even months.. so, who is being cruel, now? the straightforward gentleman or the slow-faders?
Last words for slow faders out there.. please get your balls, oops I mean act together, and man (or girl) up! Respect people if you want to be respected.. that is the least you can do 🙂
its my story.. 